On 8/1/2012 I committed to losing this extra weight.  I felt like I could finally, really do it this time with the support of my family, my doctors and my nutrionist.

I started a diet, prescribed by my doctor and scheduled a date to have a VSG surgery to help me curb my appetite.

After five months of making good food choices (with my nutrionist's words ringing in my ears) and working out like someone I don't even recognize doing cardio and weights – I'm happy to report that I have lost 95 POUNDS! 

It isn't 100 yet – but I know that milestone is in my near future.  On 8/1 I wouldn't have believed it, truly, that I would have gotten to this point.  I feel soooooo much better in more ways that I could have believed possible.

I've already beaten the average weight loss for this procedure.  I intend to beat that number into dust and keep going.  My BMI was 44.  Now it is 30.  I'm aiming for 23.

When I pack my suitcases for CHA I will lift the two checked pieces of luggage, in unison, and feel what it must have been like to carry that weight around every moment of my life.

And I promise to have a friend take a full-length picture of me while I'm out in California.  Promise.  I finally feel ready to do that.

I'm not done.  Nope.  There is another 50 lbs. that need to go.  Another suitcase! But literally 20 years of weight-gain has been erased from my life, forever. I've stopped the 'emotional eatting' in its tracks and the surgery has gotten the hormones under control that made me feel constantly hungry and never full and helped me to get my metabolism jump-started.  In about 7 months my body will figure out that this is the new normal and my metabolism will have readjusted.  So my goal is to hit the ground running and get this job DONE before the Fourth of July.

So on the eve of a new year – for once I truly believe that 2013 holds so much promise.  I have gotten myself back.  Always and forever a work in progress… I'm going to do silly things this week; transforming things.  Just a new cut and color — but it feels like time to do it.

I'm still working on the internal dialogue and defensiveness that have built up over the years.  It is time to transform these into more positive and uplifting messages as well.  I have always been a smiler.  But now there is just so much more to smile about.  So much more to look forward to.  I cannot really define it for you … I've said I feel lighter — and honestly that is the best description.

So here is to continued health and an uplifting and kinder 2013!